Community: Real Life

Where is the love for Valentine's Day?


Olivia

Olivia is an American student studying and interning in London this term. She has very few specific plans for the future, but hopes it includes her passions for writing, technology and design.

Olivia says, forget the stigma, it's time to take Valentine's Day back!

Christmas, St. Patrick's Day, Halloween: when it comes to holidays and festivals, I'm a big fan of pretty much every event. I know most people wouldn't admit it, but I like the special sections they designate to all the festivities in shops. I even like the cheesy Christmas music and lights and the dodgy St. Patrick's Day hats (as well as the overindulgent meals and the time off school and work). Yes, when it comes to holidays I don't discriminate, celebrating occasions large and small with wholehearted enthusiasm. And that goes for Valentine's Day too.

Unfortunately, back at home (I'm American, living in London) singletons and the coupled-up alike hate the whole pink, sparkly mess.  It didn't take long for me to realise that my excitement for celebrating Valentine's Day isn't shared over here either. But who cares? In the face of all this opposition and negativity, I'm on a crusade to make a case for appreciating February 14.

It seems that those who need the most convincing on the merits of Valentine's Day are those who aren't in relationships, for obvious reasons. When a dreary month is suddenly filled with glittery red hearts and silhouettes of intimate couples, the single life appears lacklustre. Overnight, romance becomes the only variable by which to gauge success or happiness. By definition, singletons can't measure up on this arbitrary scale.

But remember single folks, the grass isn't much greener on the other side. Imagine the nightmare those poor people in relationships must feel, knowing their every move will be under scrutiny. Get the wrong Valentine's Day present? Forget it. And then there's the romantic ambience you're supposed to create. For 24 hours you're under pressure to provide that ultimate valentine's moment. But whatever you do (unless you're a Hollywood superstar, with the plot written for you and accompanying orchestra) your lame valentine's attempts are probably just not going to be good enough. As few of us have access to a string quartet, the probability of a cinema-grade romance is slim. Year after year, lacklustre love birds fail to impress, or flounder altogether. And year after year, anxiety rather than love is the defining emotion.

How did we get to this point? When did we start resenting a day dedicated to love?

When did we start resenting a day dedicated to love?

As the legend goes, there once was a St. Valentine. He believed fiercely in love and married young couples even though it was banned (apparently married men made poor soldiers). For ignoring the law in favour of love, St. Valentine was imprisoned and sentenced to death. While in jail, he healed the guard's daughter of her blindness and the pair fell in love. Before he was martyred, he wrote her a love letter and signed it "Love, your Valentine." At some point after that, the Christian church adopted a popular pagan celebration of fertility that fell on February 14. Bingo, Valentine's Day was born.

One mention each by Chaucer and Shakespeare of romance on Valentine's Day, and the practice of sending love notes was popularised. With the improvement of postal services came the sending of anonymous letters, and by the 1800s factories were mass producing cards of paper and lace. In 1913 Hallmark produced their first Valentine, and the commercialization took off. The chocolate, flower and greeting card industries routinely returned huge profits, and in the 1980s the diamond industry jumped on board marketing jewellery as the perfect Valentine's gift.

The tradition of Valentine's Day has gone through quite an evolution: from a day to express heartfelt emotions to a nightmare of pressure and frustration all wrapped up in a pretty pink ribbon. But I think it's time to leave the negativity behind. Single, dating or married, we all need love and we should all celebrate the love we have and the love we share with others. So why not use Valentine's Day? That's what it's there for, after all.

Obviously, you don't have to buy stuff to show you care. If it's the pressure and expectation you dread, have a chat with your significant other, decide together the plans you'll make and the type of gifts you'll buy (OK so this robs the situation of the element of surprise somewhat, but at least you won't end up hating each other). Or how about starting your own tradition? Or just doing something completely unrelated to commemorate the occasion? Or even celebrating Valentine's Day on a different day altogether?

As for those those flying solo this year, why the sad face? Instead of fretting about being single, you could just use Valentine's Day to remind yourself how much love you already have in your life. Celebrate your love for family over dinner, exchange cards and candy with your friends over drinks. Buy yourself flowers. Whatever, why waste it?

Valentine's Day doesn't have to be the nightmare it's become, focusing on everything that is wrong. Make it occasion to appreciate what you have. This year, the heart shaped box of chocolates is half full.

Updated: 03/02/2011


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