Q & A with Larry Lamb

TheSite.org's celebrity dad, Larry Lamb, joined us in the run up to Fathers Day for a live chat about the ups and downs of fatherhood and becoming a young parent.

Jo7: What would you appreciate on Father's Day, or what's the best thing you've ever received?

Larry: Things made by my children, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant. Like a little figure, or a drawing. Those are the kind of things you're really thrilled by. Not necessarily a fancy gift, but something made and thought about. Gifts made in class projects are always good fun.

It makes much more sense if it's something they think you'll find funny. The thing to do is to personalise it and de-commercialise it. It shouldn't be a go-out-and-spend-money day.

Marshy: What does it mean that you're TheSite's Dad? Why?

Larry: TheSite.org asked me if I'd like to be considered a parental figure for people to call upon. We did a video, too, with my son George about preparing for fatherhood.

Ollie: What will you be doing this Father's Day, Larry?

Larry: Unfortunately, I'll be working. I'm going to be at a book festival in Scotland so I won't actually be with my family. When you spend your life as an actor, you get used to being away from home on all sorts of family occasions. It's one of the things you have to learn to deal with because you work when it's there - whether it's birthdays, Christenings etc. You just get used to it. And, more importantly, it's something your family gets used to. We always catch up on the phone though :)

KingKong: Hi Larry! I must confess I haven't read your book yet. Do you talk about your relationship with your kids in there at all? How do they feel about reading about your life in such detail?

Larry: Hi, thanks for the question. Certainly. My son read the book on behalf of all the family very early on, and I'm sure in years to come my daughters will, too. It's a story of my life, with special people mentioned, but the detail is about my life - not theirs. Hopefully the girls, like their brother, will find it all ok :) Does that answer your question KingKong?

KingKong: It does thanks! I just think I'd find it really interesting to know more about my dad's life growing up, and it made me wonder how it would make me feel.

Larry: I think it's interesting for children of any age to understand more about the years that they didn't live through. My children were born really late in my life so an awful lot went on before they came along. My son found it fascinating to read about events that went on long, long before he was born.

KingKong: Also, from the vid you've done with George, it seems you're really open with him, which must make it easier.

Larry: Parents' lives can be a bit of a mystery. I'd have been fascinated to find out more about my parents' lives.

Marshy: What would you say is the key to being able to talk as openly as you do with George?

Larry: I've been completely honest with him ever since he was a little boy. I've never bullied him, never told him lies, never said anything bad about his mother - even when I was angry with her and we weren't living together. And allowing him during that time to have his own relationship with her and her friends, and not getting in the way. The pay off for that is the relationship we now have. If you narrow it right down, it's all about being straight with people.

Marshy: Thanks Larry.

lea: Would you like to play The Doctor in Doctor Who?

Larry: Haha. My daughters are big fans and they wouldn't permit it! Maybe I'm a bit old.

Ollie: What's the single scariest thing about fatherhood?

Larry: Not knowing how much it's going to change your life. What I think is, it's too easy to be scared about it and it's something that should be totally enjoyed.

Ollie: What's the most enjoyable part?

Larry: Watching them grow up, mature and gradually become adults and the sense of achievement and pride when other adults - other people - tell you how much they like your children.

baa ram ewe: There's a post on TheSite's facebook page about what our dads do to embarrass us. What have you done to embarrass your kids?

Larry: Walking into the living room wearing my underwear while my daughter was there with her friend after a sleepover. Alright if you're a young dad at 30, not so good if you're an old geezer of 60!

baa ram ewe: That is embarrassing.

Larry: Yeah, not so much to me - more for my daughter!

Marshy: Do you think there's any difference in the way you are a dad to your daughters than you are to your son?

Larry: I'm just having a little chat with my daughter about this one, she's here... She says when I'm with my son we're like two men together. When I'm daddy to my young daughters I'm like a gentler 'soft old daddy', but that's probably more to do with the big age gap.

You kind of have to find a way to be with each of them - it certainly is different fathering girls to fathering boys. Do other people see differences between them and their siblings?

"I think people should try and live the bachelor life for as long as they can .Trying to live that life when you have a family causes a lot of problems."

Marshy: Definitely. My brother gets away with murder.

Larry: Haha Marshy - I think George thinks his sisters get away with murder. He certainly thinks I'm too soft on them.

BobMoth: How do you know when you are ready to be a father?

Larry: Thanks for the question BobMoth. I have to say I think far too many young men get into that position too early. I personally think about mid-30s is a good age for a fella; women are probably ready a bit earlier. I'd say it's good for people to go and experience life, establish themselves, and then go and settle down.

I think people should try and live the bachelor life for as long as they can .Trying to live that life when you have a family causes a lot of problems.

BobMoth: Did you know you were ready Larry? Did you plan it?

Larry: I was certainly ready for it with my two youngest daughters. With George, although I really wanted it, I wasn't emotionally ready for it.

Mich: But if you're in your mid-30s, you then end up being a bit older as they're growing up? Don't you think it's good to be a younger dad too?

Larry: Yes if you happen to be one of those special individuals who mature as a man very early. But going through your life resenting what you think you've missed will not make being a father easy. And so for me, all I can say is what I feel based on my own experience.

Yes it's great to be a young dad, as long as you're ready for it, but not great when you don't want to be and you're not ready for it.

BobMoth: Thanks.

Mich: Fair point :)

Larry: Cheers BobMoth and Mich.

BobMoth: Do you think having a child makes a man grow up?

Larry: It should, and best that it does, but unfortunately sometimes it doesn't work out that way. If you're not absolutely ready for it, you spend too much time thinking about yourself. And if you're worrying about what you're missing, you don't have enough time to do what you should be doing - which is enjoying being a dad. There's nothing bigger than this as an investment in your life.

Mich: What's been the proudest moment you've had as a dad?

Larry: That's a tough one, Mich. I certainly feel great pride in seeing all three together and really enjoying each other's company. And with them, with their two mothers and me altogether as a family, I feel really proud of that.

Niki: What would you want your kids to say if they could describe you in three words?

Larry: My daughter is actually here and says: 'A lovely person and the best daddy' :D

BobMoth: Legend.

Mich: How old is she?

Larry: She's nearly 12.

Larry: It's been lovely to be asked these questions and I look forward to doing it again - thanks guys!

baa ram ewe: Thanks for answering questions :)

Marshy: Thanks Larry, been great talking to you. Come back soon.

Larry: I hope the answers help.

Mich: Thanks Larry!

lea: Thanks Larry.

Jo7: Thanks everyone, night all!