Chat guidelines
How to make the most of TheSite.org chat room
Whether you're looking for help with a problem or just somewhere to hang out and talk to other young people, TheSite chat room is a safe and welcoming place to meet others, have a chat, and get support if you need it.
Here are a few words from some of our chatters:
"It's nice being able to talk to people about things that are bothering me, and also having the support of everybody! Everybody is so friendly. And the Mods are also very helpful, in offering support."
"Thank you guys been a big help because I was worrying and was lost."
"All your advice you guys has been awesome. I don't get much support from my family and friends plus you guys are all so friendly."
"I am leaving chat with a smile :) Thanks xxx"
FAQ
How do I choose a username?
You don't need to register to join chat but it's good to think about what username youd like to use. Here are a few tips:
Try and stick to the same name once youve picked one - It avoids confusion and helps you to build relationships with other chatters.
If you're a regular member but are looking to be totally anonymous, perhaps you have something really sensitive you want to talk about, then it's okay to come in under a different name than usual as long as you only come in as one person at a time.
Those who are registered on the discussion boards may have established usernames, which they also use in chat. If you're relatively new to chat and happen to pick someone else's name, you may suddenly realise that everyone thinks you're that person, so be prepared to log out and come back in again with a different name.
Am I the right age for chat?
Everyone is welcome to join in with chat. However, TheSite.org is aimed at 16-25 year olds and it's important to bear this in mind in relation to the content that may be discussed. You may also find this list of chat services useful.
What can I talk about?
Whatever you like! Maybe you've had a hard day or you want to shout at something on TV but you're home alone, chat is a great way to let off steam and escape for a couple of hours with a friendly bunch of people.
As well as the general chit chat and banter, you're also welcome to talk about anything that might be on your mind. There are a few issues that come up which we have some additional guidance for to help you get the most out of your time in the chat room.
Talking about sex - you're welcome to talk about any issues you might be having in the bedroom but chat's not a place to brag about your sexual exploits in detail or to try and hook up.
Talking about drugs - you can discuss drugs in chat but it's not the place to discuss dealing or manufacturing drugs, expect to be warned off for that.
Talking about self-harm - Chatters will be happy to listen to you and offer you some opinions about issues and options for helping with your self-harm, but we ask people who feel they might be about to harm not to come into a group chat session where others may be affected by your actions, but to consider alternative one-to-one support. You could:
Phone a friend or someone you trust
Arrange a visit to see an out of hours GP
Write your thoughts on TheSite.org discussion boards
If this is the case for you, you're welcome to come into chat when the urge has passed if you would like to chat with others about how you're feeling. That way, you're bound to be in a much better frame of mind to talk with and listen to others.
If you're feeling desperate we'd suggest you get along to A&E or contact Samaritans and if you're looking for professional support then you can submit an email question to askTheSite.
Talking about suicidal feelings - It's important to remember that TheSite chat is a peer to peer support service and taking about suicidal feelings can be distressing for other people in the chat room. If you're at crisis point we'd suggest you get along to A&E or contact Samaritans. If you'd like to talk about how you're feeling then you could:
Phone a friend or someone you trust
Arrange a visit to see an out of hours GP
Write your thoughts on TheSite.org discussion boards
If you're looking for professional support then you can submit an email question to askTheSite.
Can I chat one to one?
Chat is set up as a group session. There's no facility to talk privately with other chatters or with the moderator. If you're looking for one to one chat here's a list of other services out there. You can also contact our askTheSite service by submitting a question via an online form - a trained advisor will respond to you personally within 3 working days.
Is the chat moderated?
In every session there will be a moderator on hand to help out. Their role is to make sure everything runs smoothly, offer support and suggestions when necessary and generally oversee the session. Chat moderators are professional, but not expert advisors. They're not policing the session, they are a friendly addition to the chat room. Different moderators run sessions on different nights but you'll soon get to know who they are. You can meet some of them in our meet the mod section.
Is the chat confidential?
Under the Data Protection Act we can choose to break confidentiality if we feel that doing so would be in the public interest or that not doing so would hinder a criminal investigation. Under very rare, extreme circumstances, we may choose to break confidentiality.
These are:
If we believe a user is in immediate and great danger. Or a user is about to place another person in immediate and great danger.
And
That a user has provided enough personal information for us to believe there is an opportunity to intervene.
We wouldn't even think of trying to intervene if the circumstances were not extreme and the general rule is what happens in chat stays in chat!
Chat stands alone from the discussion boards so we ask that you do not share anything personal that someone has shared in chat anywhere else. As you do not have to register for chat we do not keep any of your personal information.
Transcripts of the chat session are saved but we do not publish them anywhere on TheSite.org (unless it is an expert Q&A chat and we are happy to change names in transcripts ).
How do I get kicked out?
As with the discussion boards, there are certain behaviours that are unacceptable in the chat room. Don't be racist or discriminatory; don't attack other members; don't insult people and don't flood the chat (for example posting a million smilies in a row). If you bear these in mind and are respectful to everyone in the room then you should be fine.
The moderator has the power to warn (a publicly displayed warning in the chat room), kick (you're excluded from chat for a short time) or ban you (you can't come back to the chat session) if you disregard these guidelines.
How can I give feedback about chat?
If you want to give your feedback about a chat session you've attended then please fill in our short survey here. Positive feedback and constructive criticism welcome. If you have any other issues about chat and would like to speak to someone at TheSite.org please get in touch by emailing Helen@thesite.org.
What is an expert chat?
Roughly once a month we invite a guest expert to come into chat to answer your questions. These chats are moderated more formally and every question or comment you make will go through to the moderator first. This means that they are able to hold questions in a queue and post them in to the chat room at the right time.
Transcripts for these chats are published in the chat archive so you may wish to use a different username if you'd like to be anonymous. Have a look at the archive to see the kinds of topics we cover. If you don't have a question for the expert you're more than welcome to come along just to observe too.
Where can I go if chat is closed?
The discussion boards are always on; if you haven't yet registered then once you are signed up you'll be able to post and receive replies from other members. The boards are organised by topic such as relationships, health & wellbeing, work etc. so take some time to browse and post in the forum that feels the most appropriate.
askTheSite is a confidential email service that puts you in touch with trained advisors on a range of issues. If you're 16-25 and inside the UK you can submit a question and get a response within 3 working days.
If you're looking for other chat services then there are plenty out there that you can try. Take a look at this list of chat services.
It wont let me log in, what can I do?
Occasionally people experience difficulties accessing the chat room. If you find you're unable to get in we have put together some tried and tested options that may resolve the problem. You can view these in the discussion forum here.
How to use the chat room
The image below shows what you can expect to see when you log in as well as some detail on specific functions within the chat.
During the chat you may see chatters describe something they are feeling or doing that appears in Italics, for example:
James is stretching his legs
You can recreate this action by typing a colon followed by the action you wish to display, for example:
: is stretching his legs.
Happy chatting!
Chat guidelines
How to make the most of TheSite.org chat room
Whether you're looking for help with a problem or just somewhere to hang out and talk to other young people, TheSite chat room is a safe and welcoming place to meet others, have a chat, and get support if you need it.
Here are a few words from some of our chatters:
"It's nice being able to talk to people about things that are bothering me, and also having the support of everybody! Everybody is so friendly. And the Mods are also very helpful, in offering support."
"Thank you guys been a big help because I was worrying and was lost."
"All your advice you guys has been awesome. I don't get much support from my family and friends plus you guys are all so friendly."
"I am leaving chat with a smile :) Thanks xxx"
FAQ
How do I choose a username?
You don't need to register to join chat but it's good to think about what username youd like to use. Here are a few tips:
Try and stick to the same name once youve picked one - It avoids confusion and helps you to build relationships with other chatters.
If you're a regular member but are looking to be totally anonymous, perhaps you have something really sensitive you want to talk about, then it's okay to come in under a different name than usual as long as you only come in as one person at a time.
Those who are registered on the discussion boards may have established usernames, which they also use in chat. If you're relatively new to chat and happen to pick someone else's name, you may suddenly realise that everyone thinks you're that person, so be prepared to log out and come back in again with a different name.
Am I the right age for chat?
Everyone is welcome to join in with chat. However, TheSite.org is aimed at 16-25 year olds and it's important to bear this in mind in relation to the content that may be discussed. You may also find this list of chat services useful.
What can I talk about?
Whatever you like! Maybe you've had a hard day or you want to shout at something on TV but you're home alone, chat is a great way to let off steam and escape for a couple of hours with a friendly bunch of people.
As well as the general chit chat and banter, you're also welcome to talk about anything that might be on your mind. There are a few issues that come up which we have some additional guidance for to help you get the most out of your time in the chat room.
Talking about sex - you're welcome to talk about any issues you might be having in the bedroom but chat's not a place to brag about your sexual exploits in detail or to try and hook up.
Talking about drugs - you can discuss drugs in chat but it's not the place to discuss dealing or manufacturing drugs, expect to be warned off for that.
Talking about self-harm - Chatters will be happy to listen to you and offer you some opinions about issues and options for helping with your self-harm, but we ask people who feel they might be about to harm not to come into a group chat session where others may be affected by your actions, but to consider alternative one-to-one support. You could:
Phone a friend or someone you trust
Arrange a visit to see an out of hours GP
Write your thoughts on TheSite.org discussion boards
If this is the case for you, you're welcome to come into chat when the urge has passed if you would like to chat with others about how you're feeling. That way, you're bound to be in a much better frame of mind to talk with and listen to others.
If you're feeling desperate we'd suggest you get along to A&E or contact Samaritans and if you're looking for professional support then you can submit an email question to askTheSite.
Talking about suicidal feelings - It's important to remember that TheSite chat is a peer to peer support service and taking about suicidal feelings can be distressing for other people in the chat room. If you're at crisis point we'd suggest you get along to A&E or contact Samaritans. If you'd like to talk about how you're feeling then you could:
Phone a friend or someone you trust
Arrange a visit to see an out of hours GP
Write your thoughts on TheSite.org discussion boards
If you're looking for professional support then you can submit an email question to askTheSite.
Can I chat one to one?
Chat is set up as a group session. There's no facility to talk privately with other chatters or with the moderator. If you're looking for one to one chat here's a list of other services out there. You can also contact our askTheSite service by submitting a question via an online form - a trained advisor will respond to you personally within 3 working days.
Is the chat moderated?
In every session there will be a moderator on hand to help out. Their role is to make sure everything runs smoothly, offer support and suggestions when necessary and generally oversee the session. Chat moderators are professional, but not expert advisors. They're not policing the session, they are a friendly addition to the chat room. Different moderators run sessions on different nights but you'll soon get to know who they are. You can meet some of them in our meet the mod section.
Is the chat confidential?
Under the Data Protection Act we can choose to break confidentiality if we feel that doing so would be in the public interest or that not doing so would hinder a criminal investigation. Under very rare, extreme circumstances, we may choose to break confidentiality.
These are:
If we believe a user is in immediate and great danger. Or a user is about to place another person in immediate and great danger.
And
That a user has provided enough personal information for us to believe there is an opportunity to intervene.
We wouldn't even think of trying to intervene if the circumstances were not extreme and the general rule is what happens in chat stays in chat!
Chat stands alone from the discussion boards so we ask that you do not share anything personal that someone has shared in chat anywhere else. As you do not have to register for chat we do not keep any of your personal information.
Transcripts of the chat session are saved but we do not publish them anywhere on TheSite.org (unless it is an expert Q&A chat and we are happy to change names in transcripts ).
How do I get kicked out?
As with the discussion boards, there are certain behaviours that are unacceptable in the chat room. Don't be racist or discriminatory; don't attack other members; don't insult people and don't flood the chat (for example posting a million smilies in a row). If you bear these in mind and are respectful to everyone in the room then you should be fine.
The moderator has the power to warn (a publicly displayed warning in the chat room), kick (you're excluded from chat for a short time) or ban you (you can't come back to the chat session) if you disregard these guidelines.
How can I give feedback about chat?
If you want to give your feedback about a chat session you've attended then please fill in our short survey here. Positive feedback and constructive criticism welcome. If you have any other issues about chat and would like to speak to someone at TheSite.org please get in touch by emailing Helen@thesite.org.
What is an expert chat?
Roughly once a month we invite a guest expert to come into chat to answer your questions. These chats are moderated more formally and every question or comment you make will go through to the moderator first. This means that they are able to hold questions in a queue and post them in to the chat room at the right time.
Transcripts for these chats are published in the chat archive so you may wish to use a different username if you'd like to be anonymous. Have a look at the archive to see the kinds of topics we cover. If you don't have a question for the expert you're more than welcome to come along just to observe too.
Where can I go if chat is closed?
The discussion boards are always on; if you haven't yet registered then once you are signed up you'll be able to post and receive replies from other members. The boards are organised by topic such as relationships, health & wellbeing, work etc. so take some time to browse and post in the forum that feels the most appropriate.
askTheSite is a confidential email service that puts you in touch with trained advisors on a range of issues. If you're 16-25 and inside the UK you can submit a question and get a response within 3 working days.
If you're looking for other chat services then there are plenty out there that you can try. Take a look at this list of chat services.
It wont let me log in, what can I do?
Occasionally people experience difficulties accessing the chat room. If you find you're unable to get in we have put together some tried and tested options that may resolve the problem. You can view these in the discussion forum here.
How to use the chat room
The image below shows what you can expect to see when you log in as well as some detail on specific functions within the chat.
During the chat you may see chatters describe something they are feeling or doing that appears in Italics, for example:
James is stretching his legs
You can recreate this action by typing a colon followed by the action you wish to display, for example:
: is stretching his legs.
Happy chatting!