Life's getting me down
Question
I think I have depression because I feel sad all the time and I don't sleep very well. When I do, I sleep too much. Sometimes I feel anxious and hyper, but then I feel drained of energy. I feel confused and I find it difficult to make decisions. I cry and get angry really easily. I have aches and pains all the time and frequently think about death and suicide. Sometime I even cut myself.
I find it really hard to talk to people because I feel I can't trust anyone. I feel like my life is spiralling out of control. I skive off school a lot and I dream about running away and starting a new life. I can't tell my parents as I worry they won't believe me and I daren't go to the doctors. What should I do?
Answer
Experiencing all of the issues you describe, from sadness, sleep problems and mood swings to feeling confused must be very distressing. It is encouraging you are willing to ask for help and please be reassured, you don't have to go through this on your own.
Mind provides some very comprehensive information sheets about depression which you may want to look at. Experiencing symptoms of depression can be very isolating and it must be hard for you to fee you're unable to tell your parents or see your doctor (GP). Feeling so sensitive to rejection and failure, combined with a lack of sleep and drained of energy, can make it difficult to talk about how you are feeling. Thoughts of death and suicide, are often hard for people to express.
Although you say you find it really hard to talk to people, some people find it easier to speak to someone they don't know by phone. If you would like to talk to someone, without judgement and in confidence, then you can call SANELINE on 0845 767 8000. You can also call Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90. If you would prefer not to speak to someone on the phone, Befrienders Worldwide offers further support and information online if you should feel suicidal.
Alternatively, if you do find yourself feeling suicidal, and you would like to see a professional urgently, your local hospital accident and emergency department might be worth visiting. There, you will be able to see a duty psychologist who will then be able to assess your needs and assist you in finding the necessary support.
As you may be aware, self-harm is often a way for people to cope with and get through difficult emotions or situations. Difficult feelings are quite often the reason why people self-harm, as a means of communicating what they cannot put into words or even into thoughts. Self-harm, such as cutting, can be a way of releasing painful emotions. It is not a way of dealing with the problems and looking at the underlying reasons often helps more. There are organisations that specialise in confidential support in this area. The National Self-Harm Network provides support to people who self-harm. Its website features a range of resources and also includes a message board.
It's worth knowing that your GP is there to help you. If the feelings you describe keep on reoccurring you might want to consider getting a professional diagnosis first. There are a number of ways of treating depression both with and without medication. Your GP will be able to discuss the medical and talking treatment options available, such as antidepressants or cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT).
Your GP should also be able to refer you onto an appropriate counselling service or you could try contacting Youth Access if you wished to seek this form of support independently. Talking to a counsellor can be a really helpful way of exploring any underlying issues, which may be causing you to feel so sad, paranoid about people plotting against you and out of control of your life.
If you feel uncomfortable discussing any of this with your doctor, sometimes opening up to family and friends about your feelings can help too. But it is understandable if you feel you cannot turn to anyone, such as your parents. Also, people sometimes prefer to keep things from those they are close to for fear of upsetting them but often once people know the situation they are able to offer help and support.
Another organisation that may be of interest to you is Careline on 020 8514 1177, a confidential counselling helpline run by volunteers who provide emotional support. Youth2Youth also provides a helpline and is run by young people for young people.You can call them on 020 8896 3675.
Updated: 03/06/2011
Question answered by SANE
