Forced out
Question
I think I want to move out of home. Nothing I do seems to be good enough for my parents and it's really getting me down.
I'm on a fairly low wage and can't really afford to move out. My father is controlling my life and dictating what I can and can't do, it actually feels like he's trying to make my life a living hell. He's even started trying to control my relationships with girls and tried to stop me seeing my girlfriend.
Every time we have a conversation it turns into a shouting match. I'm emotionally at the end of my tether. Is there anything I can do?
Answer
We're sorry you're having a hard time at home right now but it's important you know you're not alone and you may be able to get help to sort out the problems at home.
If you're thinking of moving out to get away from the conflict, there are a number of options you might want to consider. If you have to leave home quickly, you could try to find some emergency accommodation.
If you don't need to leave quickly you could try looking for somewhere to rent privately, or even consider buying a place. But think carefully about your housing options, who you want to live with, and what you can afford. If you think you are going to find it difficult to cover the cost of rent, you may be entitled to housing benefit to help you cover it. This will depend on how much you are earning.
Renting privately usually needs money upfront and buying a place is costly, although there are some schemes that can help.
To find somewhere to rent privately you can try estate agents/lettings agencies or advertisements in local newspapers. If you use an agency they will usually charge fees for things such as references and administration charges. You will need money up front to pay for rent in advance (usually one month) and a deposit (at least the equivalent to one month's rent). If you can't afford a deposit, there may be a local scheme that can help.
Cheaper places can be found through council housing, housing associations and housing co-ops, but in many areas it's hard to get a place and you could be on the waiting list for a long time. You might want to put your name down anyway so that you've got a chance of getting a place in the future.
Alternatively, if you'd like to live somewhere where you can also get help and advice, you could try foyers for young people or supported housing.
If you want to discuss your housing options in more detail, you can call Shelter's free housing advice helpline in confidence on 0808 800 44 44, or contact a local advice service.
You can also talk to Get Connected on 0808 808 4994 about what's going on at home. They will able to listen to your problems and put you in touch with the most appropriate organisations to get you some help.
Updated: 26/09/2008
Question answered by CAB
