First time fears
Question
There's a boy I really like I'd like to ask him out but I have no idea how to do it. What should I say? What if he says no?
Answer
Approaching someone for a date can be scary, especially if you feel lacking in confidence. You replay the scene in your mind, again and again, imagining the very worst. The thing is, though, the thought of asking someone out is usually much worse than actually doing it. After all, the bloke you like will more than likely be really flattered you made the effort to seek him out. If the tables were turned, wouldn't you be?
As far as actually asking him out is concerned, you don't have to make a big song-and-dance act out of it. Just make sure to approach him when he's alone, not with his mates. That can be intimidating even for the most confident of Casanovas. Begin by just being a friend, rather than a girlfriend-in-waiting, and just aim to get to know him better. You'll soon suss if he shares your affections, without any awkwardness or embarrassment. If it's clear he's not interested romantically, he's likely to respect you as a friend, and if there's a spark then consider taking things further by arranging a date.
You also don't have to ask him on the most elaborate date in history. Rome wasn't built in a day, so start slowly. Invite him out for a coffee, or maybe to the cinema if you know he's into films. The benefits of catching a movie together are twofold: you'll both be entertained and have something to talk about afterwards.
First dates are often the toughest, but the more time you spend together the more relaxed you'll become. So give it your best shot, and enjoy the experience, whatever the outcome.
Updated: 12/04/2010
Question answered by Our Relationship Advisors
