Shy guy
Question
I've had great fun texting with a cute guy I met in the pub a few weeks ago. I few days ago we finally met up again in another pub and I couldn't believe how shy he was. He barely said a word to me and mumbled everything all night. How can he be so different in person than in a text?
Answer
It's a shame this guy found it so difficult to relax when he met you in the pub. He was probably wishing he could send you a text during the date. That way you could read what was on his mind and he wouldn't have felt so shy trying to tell you in person.
Clearly he finds it tough to establish the same kind of connection face-to-face that you've got going by phone, but please don't hang up on him yet. He obviously likes you, but be aware that it's also very easy to open up when your whole relationship is based on text alone.
This can make things feel a bit weird when you actually meet - as if you have an intimate knowledge of a complete stranger - and in some ways you have to get to know each other all over again.
So why not use your one channel of communication available to suggest a fresh start? Stress that when you meet you're both bound to feel a bit awkward, but that things will get easier as you learn to relax in each other's company. That way he'll know you're not expecting too much from him to begin with, which will free you both up to find the right words for real.
Updated: 19/04/2005
Question answered by Our Relationship Advisors
