Triangle trouble
Question
I'm in a bit of a love triangle at the moment. My good mate snogged a guy at a party and they both seemed to fancy each other. But at the end of the party he told me he likes me better than my friend and asked for my number.
He's great looking and sexy so I gave him my number. He's texted me a few times but I'm not sure whether if I should meet up with him because I'll be going behind my friends back. What should I do?
Answer
Before you do anything be very clear where your loyalty lies. Even if you both fancy each other it doesn't mean you can ignore the affect this might have on your relationship with a good mate. You need to weigh up how much your mate's friendship means to you. Truly reliable, trustworthy friends are not easy to find and going with this guy behind her back might mean trouble in the future. It's likely she'll feel far more hurt that you were dishonest with her than about being rejected by this guy, so all three of you need to be straight with each other.
Think about having a chat with your friend and remind her that your friendship is very important to you and explain that although you realise she fancies this guy, he actually came onto you that same night. Let her know how you feel about having to carry on without her knowing. She may not want to believe you initially and might phone this guy, so you also need to let him know you'll be talking to her. If he really fancies you rather than her, then it's better she finds out by you being honest.
You might also want to think carefully about starting a relationship with a guy who was prepared to get off with one person then make a pass at another. Maybe you just won him over that night but this could also be the way he behaves all the time. You should think about discussing things honestly with him, as well as your friend.
Updated: 15/03/2005
Question answered by Our Relationship Advisors
