When to ask

Not before you've been out on the first date, obviously, but don't leave it too late either. Only you can judge the best time, but ideally you need to raise the issue before the date is over. It might be tempting to just agree to catch up some time, but it leaves too much to chance - and you could find yourself talking to their answer machine once, twice, three times a loser.

Tip: aim to raise the issue towards the end of your date, but not too early in case it's clear s/he doesn't want to see a creep like you ever again.

What to ask

Asking for that second date can seem just as daunting as it did the first time, but then you don't have to ask directly. Instead of blurting 'will you go out with me again', (and lining yourself up for humiliating rejection) just steer the subject towards a review of your time together.

Slip in a line about how much you've enjoyed their company (especially if you're climbing back into your underwear - it's only polite!) and give them a chance to say how it was for them. That way, you'll have a good idea how they feel about doing it all again some time soon - which should be your next question if they've given out the right vibe.

Tip: if you've bungled it, and left with the vague promise of calling each other, don't go playing any kind of waiting game - it's not big or clever. Instead of proving how cool you are, you simply risk looking like you've gone cold. The result? Another answer machine break up. If you're going to call, put yourself out of that misery and reach for the handset - though maybe not just as soon as you get home!

Text messaging or email may be a tempting alternative, but hiding behind technology in this way can create uncertainty if you don't get an immediate response. So, c'mon, be brave. Speak your mind and honour your heart! Awww.

Updated: 11/10/2008