Supermarket Vermouth

Two quid a bottle, cunningly disguised by mixing with obscure tropical fruit juice. You'll feel ill by the morning, if not on your first glass.

Vinegar

Well it does say wine on the bottle, but you are quite certain it should be poured on your chips and not down your neck. However, it tastes like silk by the end of the bottle. One of life's little mysteries this. Or maybe not, after all.

Thunderbird, 20/20, Taboo

Tastes like toilet cleaner, smells like cheap perfume from Peckham back streets, gets you floor-huggingly drunk.

"Punch"

An open term generally meaning anything and everything thrown into a dustbin, preferably emptied first, may contain fruit if a deluxe version, and may be a very strange colour as a result of food dye, or the early starters vomiting into it - oh it wasn't fruit...

Snakebite

Having sworn you will never ever drink cider again after throwing up aged 14, you may wonder how you managed to drink the best part of two litres of white cider (mixed with larger and perhaps blackcurrant) in half an hour.

Serious bit: remember, binge drinking can cause you harm.

Updated: 16/12/2009